If you are living under a giant earth-shaped rock, and have somehow not heard it by now, Jeff Bezos used his massive wealth to go to space. But, it also turned out his spaceship is shaped like a massive dong, but to his engineering team's credit, it does look very aerodynamic. The billionaire went to space in his penis rocket and now the internet is roasting the Bezos!
Welcome to 2021, where people are literally dying from a global pandemic! Instead of helping the very people who earned you your fortune, you use it to build a large penis-shaped rocket to launch yourself into space so you can jack off while floating in the earth's atmosphere. Congratulations are in order!
When did Jeff Bezos launch into space?
This is exactly what Jeff Bezos did on July 20th, he went to the edge of space. He took his cock rocket to the edge of space for 11 minutes in the ultimate move of overcompensating for something small and achievable, that's right we mean space tourism. Bravo Bezos! One small step for man...if you know what I mean.
The rocket's actual name is Blue Origin, and definitely not some other juvenile name being thrown at this entire space launch spectacle. It was the rocket's 16th lift-off and Bezos joined the last mission confident he would return alive, and indeed, the mission went off without a hitch. But alas, he was not fast enough because another old rich white dude beat him to the edge of space just weeks ago. That's right kids, if you study hard enough and work tirelessly, you too can send your boss to space!
However, Bezos was already beaten to the punch by Richard Brandson who lost his space virginity nine days before Bezos making him the superior small membered billionaire to join the exclusive club of rich old white dudes to go the edge of space. We congratulate the two old-timers and hope they had fun on their little space adventure. The rest of us earthlings must go to work tomorrow, but thanks for reminding us how boring and normal our lives actually are. Hey, at least NASA does it in the name of science!