We Didn’t Play Elden Ring Early, Here Are Our Impressions From Other Websites

FromSoftware didn't send us an Elden Ring copy, but we're not ones to pout and b*tch. No, we get petty and steal from other websites.

Elden ring first impressions
Looks cool. Sure would be fun to play it. | © Elden Ring

So, Elden Ring is only a couple of months away, and it seems like everybody played it: Some got early copies, while others took part in the network testing. Us? Well, I got an email the other day from 'PR Hound' offering up a copy of Faraday Protocol, a first-person puzzle game. So, yeah, that's where I'm at.

Not to worry though: The internet is a beautiful platform, ripe for content stealing, so we don't need to play the game to give you our impressions, no, no, no, we only need to scour the internet:

Elden Ring Hands-On First Impressions

Redditor loves the game

u/captain_shindiggler played the network test and certifiably no-lived it, somehow getting 70 hours of gameplay, when the network test only opened up today. How is that possible? Because they are a group of people, dummy. Classic math test question.

Polygon Got It Too. We Didn't.

Here's what Polygon had to say, summed up, so you don't ever have to visit their website again. Ever.

  • Feels like Dark Souls 3, but bigger, and wider (insert dirty joke)
  • Bonfire mechanic is there and called Sites of Grace
  • Souls are there, but are called Runes
  • You can summon other players
  • Combat almost identical to Dark Souls 3
  • Open-World rivals Breath of the Wild and Skyrim
  • Game has typical FromSoftware difficulty, so if your a** is soft, just don't
  • There is a lot of crafting
  • You can hunt wildlife
  • You can pick flowers, because, of course, I want to pick flowers in a game like Elden Ring
  • You can have summons fight and die for you. #SummonsLivesMatter

Game Informer Got It Too. Reminder: We Didn't

Game Informer be like:

Elden Ring takes aspects of all of the previous Souls titles, Bloodborne, and even Sekiro, and turns them into something special inside a huge open world. Not to get too far away from its roots, core dungeon crawling is still very much a part of the experience, with a vast area to explore outside of the carefully curated looping levels. Explore with up to two other players, as well as a retinue of summonable spirits and your loyal spirit steed.

We be like: What does 'retinue' even mean. Damn. No wonder we didn't get a copy.

EarlyGame's Elden Ring Impressions

  • Game sure looks cool.
  • Sure did love the trailer.
  • Sure did love reading about it.
  • Sure can't wait.
  • 10/10 anticipation, for sure

In case you forgot: Elden Ring releases on February 25, 2022, and it's coming to every system except for the Switch, because the Switch can't handle sh*t. If you wanna play it handheld, lucky you, the Steam Deck is coming out in February. The better Switch. Yeah, I said it.