Empowerment or Feminist Setback?
You might have heard of "Trad Wives" before. This trend has gained a lot of traction on social media in recent years, with influencers boasting millions of followers and young girls in the comments admiring this lifestyle. But what exactly is the Trad Wife trend? Is it a form of modern rebellion against the pressures of today's world and an expression of personal choice, or is it a dangerous idealization of outdated values that could end up doing more harm than good for women in the long run?
What Are Trad Wives?
The term "Trad Wife" stands for "Traditional Wife" and refers to women who consciously choose a traditional role within their marriage. They see it as their duty to take care for the home and family while their husbands act as the primary breadwinners, providing financially for the household. These women often emphasize that their decision to stay home and focus on homemaking and raising children is a conscious, self-determined choice. It is a modern revival of the gender roles that were common in the 1950s.
The Rise of the Trad Wife Trend
In recent years, the Trad Wife movement has gained significant traction on social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram. Women in this community share glimpses of their daily lives as housewives, posting recipes, cleaning routines, and beauty tips. Hashtags like #TradWife and #TraditionalWife have amassed millions of views, creating a growing online community.
Many of these influencers hold politically conservative or right-leaning views and often openly reject feminist values. Some even use their platforms to promote traditional gender roles and criticize modern movements for gender equality.
Criticism and Controversy – Is This Hurting Women?
However, the movement often faces criticism. Many feminists see the Trad Wife ideology as a dangerous return to outdated gender roles that strip women of their independence and economic freedom.
Critics argue that this lifestyle is often romanticized, overlooking the financial risks and social dependencies that come with it. There is also a tendency to paint an overly nostalgic picture of the 1950s, ignoring the real challenges and limitations women faced during that era.
The reality was far less glamorous than the internet often makes it seem. Women were financially dependent on their husbands, making it difficult for them to leave, especially when divorce was heavily stigmatized. Domestic violence was normalized, and marital rape was legal in many places. And despite the polished image of the perfect housewife, there has never been a time in history when being a mother and homemaker was ever a simple or glamorous role.
Trad Wife Influencers Are Lying to You – The Trad Wife Cosplay of Rich Women
The trend is heavily influenced by well-known Trad Wife influencers like Hannah Neeleman, also known as Ballerinafarm, and Nara Smith, who carefully curate the image of the perfect Trad Wife on social media. Their content often features young women who marry at 18, have lots of children, cook meals for their husbands, bake homemade bread, and live in large, stylish homes. Of course, they are always perfectly styled, wearing expensive designer dresses that cost more than a month's rent in New York, with flawless hair and makeup. These videos create a tempting but often unrealistic image of what a traditional family life can look like.
One thing about the current popular trad wife/housewife depiction is they aren't actually doing hard, essential domestic labor - you rarely if ever see them clean their own giant sparkling kitchens or bathrooms or cook substantial food beyond desserts or special treats.
— Kat Tenbarge is on Bluesky (@kattenbarge) March 9, 2024
What many people fail to see is that these influencers are often extremely wealthy content creators who make a living from their social media platforms. Their impressive mansions, $3,000 dresses and 20-step morning routines are not the result of a typical housewife lifestyle but the product of wealth andprofessional content management.
Many of these women are actually the primary breadwinners in their families, like Nara Smith, who makes significantly more money as a model and content creator than her husband. They are essentially performing an idealized version of housewife life that has little to do with the reality most women face and is built on economic privilege.
And that is exactly what makes it so dangerous. Young women see this romanticized version of homemaking without realizing that this lifestyle is completely unrealistic for most people. These influencers are often millionaires, baking bread for a TikTok video while a nanny takes care of the kids and a cleaning crew keeps their perfect home spotless.
In the current economic climate, most households simply cannot survive on a single income, especially with children. Many of these Trad Wife influencers either make significant money through social media themselves or are married to wealthy men who earn far more than the average salary, allowing them to comfortably support their families on a single income.
Why Do Women Choose This Lifestyle?
The Trad Wife trend is also a symptom of deeper societal issues. In a time of rising living costs, unstable jobs and low wages, the role of a housewife can seem like an appealing alternative to the stress of modern work life for some women.
This trend is often closely linked to the Alpha Male movement, which is also gaining popularity on social media. While Trad Wives idealize traditional female roles, Alpha Males promote toxic masculinity and a return to conservative gender roles based on strict hierarchies.
These trends create a digital ecosystem that romanticizes outdated ideas of masculinity and femininity, often at the expense of equality and personal freedom.
The "Soft Life" Myth
Many women long for the so-called "Soft Life", a calmer, less stressful lifestyle often associated with traditional gender roles where the man goes to work, and the woman stays home.
But the reality of being a housewife and mother often looks very different. If you have five kids, manage an entire household and spend hours each day cooking, cleaning and keeping track of everyone's schedules, your life is probably far from gentle or stress-free.
Without financial security or support, the everyday reality for many housewives is anything but relaxed.
It is important to recognize that traditional gender roles are not just about taking care of a family, but also about controlling women and limiting their independence. Understanding this reality is essential before romanticizing a supposedly simpler past.
It is completely valid for a woman to decide that she wants to stay home and take care of her children. That is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and it is entirely up to each woman to make that choice. One decision is not better than the other and everyone should get to choose how to live their life.
But this choice should not be linked to the idea that women need to submit to men or give up their rights. A modern family model can exist without toxic gender roles, but that is often forgotten in most Trad Wife videos.
The Trad Wife trend might be a form of self-determination for some women, but it is often based on idealized fantasies that have little to do with reality. Anyone choosing this lifestyle should be aware of the challenges beyond the perfectly curated images on social media. How you feel about the trend is a personal choice, but it is important not to forget that it is built on a fantasy that often misrepresents history.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments!