If you’re here because you typed “Stranger Things Season 5 is awful” into a search bar like it owed you money… same. This isn’t a solemn think-piece with a monocle; it’s a lovingly dramatic rundown of what didn’t work, what almost worked, and what made me pause the episode just to stare at the ceiling for a minute.
And yes, before anyone warms up the “let people enjoy things” speech: people are enjoying it. Good for them. This is for the rest of us—the ones who expected a grand finale and got a messy pile of vibes, noise, and questionable choices. Below are 10 reasons Season 5 lands more “oops” than “wow,” written with equal parts affection and side-eye.