Finally The First Mario Movie Trailer Is Here - And It's Underwhelming

The first trailer for The Super Mario Bros. Movie finally dropped and... well, maybe I should have gone to bed instead.

Bowser in the Super Mario Bros. Movie
The first trailer for the Mario Movie dropped. | © Nintendo / Illumination

Folks, it's here: the first trailer for The Super Mario Bros. Movie (official title, btw). We have been waiting for a long time to see this and let me tell you: my feelings are mixed. To quote the great philosopher Gennaro Gattuso: "It's sometimes good, sometimes shit". Let's dive in.

So, it all starts on a really great note: Bowser and his army of Koopas are attacking a castle full of... penguin... people? I don't know, I didn't recognize them from any of the games. But all of that stuff was great: Jack Black is perfect for Bowser, the animation looks insanely good and all the beats are funny and charming. And then... Mario pops in.

Another highly anticipated adaption based on video games just had new details revealed:

And holy moly. I do NOT like this Mario. Sorry, it just seems awful. The Mario design leaked before and already looked weird, but it's not much better in motion. Why is his face so flat? The moustache is too long. Why are his eyes so huge? Miss me with that. And then he opens his mouth... and it's Chris Pratt doing Chris Patt things.

I mean... that man literally sounds like himself here. Not doing a fun voice, no accent, nothing. It sounds awful. Like he couldn't even be bothered. I'm sorry, but it's true. But there's Toad (again brilliant casting with Keegan-Michael Key) and the Mushroom Kingdom looks great and... ugh, I really hope we get used to normie Chris doing his thing, because I really want to like this movie and everything else about it looks great.

We'll see on April 7, 2023, when the goddamn thing comes out in cinemas. I'll be there, so will be you. Let's hope it'll be good, eh?

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