One of the most annoying streamers of the internet was back, banned again and is now crying about it.
"Mouches volantes" are something everybody knows but probably doesn't know the name of. These vitreous "floaters" are the small transparent threads and lines in our field of vision that become particularly noticeable when, for example, looking at the blue sky.
Most of the time, we barely notice them and don't really think about them – until they suddenly catch our attention again and become incredibly annoying for a short while. Much like these fleeting floaters in our vision, there are certain personalities online – often overlooked, sometimes dismissed – that suddenly reappear in full force, demanding our attention. One such figure is Jack Doherty.
The Many Bans of Jack Doherty
Because right now, one of the most unpleasant streamer personalities (well, besides Johnny Somali) is being dragged back into our collective consciousness – even though he really shouldn’t have the opportunity to be.
Jack has been banned from Kick. Again. Sure, it never lasts long – whether he’s falling off an e-bike, buying viewbots for his own wedding, or crashing his sports car into a wall and then begging for money – none of it seems to come with lasting consequences.
Still, we had hoped for a little peace and quiet from this guy – what my mom would call a real "slap-worthy face". But no. Jack is back. And this time, the reason he's in the spotlight is the ban itself.
Banned Again After Just Nine Days
Just two months ago, things were looking pretty sweet for him. Jack had come back from yet another supposedly “permanent” ban and promised to be a better person, claiming he'd tone down the toxic behavior and clean up his content. Fast-forward nine days – banned again.
The reason? The same behavior as always. Shortly after his return, Jack ran into a stream sniper while live. For those unfamiliar: that’s someone who tracks down a live streamer in real life just to cause a scene on stream.
Well, cause a scene he did – by slapping Jack right across the face (guess my mom was right after all!). And while that kind of thing obviously isn't okay, Jack’s constant behavior basically invites this sort of reaction.
Instead of brushing it off or walking away, our spoiled brat of a streamer decided to have his bodyguards and entourage chase the guy down and beat him up. And to really top off the cake of stupidity with a cherry of nonsense – he kept streaming the whole thing.
The AI Is Truly, Deeply Sorry
Naturally, this earned Jack yet another ban. And naturally, he wasn’t exactly thrilled about it. His reaction? A heartfelt, sincere apology email to Kick. So heartfelt and sincere, in fact, that he had ChatGPT write it for him.
When Kick didn’t buy it and kept the ban in place, Jack went full meltdown mode. In a new video, he whined and screamed, claiming Kick was starting to act just like Twitch, saying they were acting like certain body parts – and that they could go taste other parts of his body in various ways. Just lovely to see how seriously Jack is taking his promise to be a better person.
And yet, we probably have no choice but to enjoy the brief silence while Jack remains banned – because let’s be honest, Kick will almost certainly lift the ban sooner or later. And when they do, our personified eye-floater will drift back into view once again.
What do you think of Jack Doherty? Do you believe he’ll stay banned this time? Or are there reasons Kick keeps letting him stream again and again?