Joe Rogan isn't Dead, You Donkeys

Once again, Joe Rogan finds himself embroiled in a controversy. Well, sort of. People think he's dead. He's not. It's a whole thing.

Joe rogan dead
The Grim Reaper and Rogan are buddies, he ain't gonna die for a little while yet. | © JRE via Spotify

Joe Rogan might look a bit like a thumb, but he's a whole lot stronger. I mean, the dude used to be a professional fighter, still commentates the living daylights out of that s**t, and spends so much time podcasting that he probably has permanent rings around those tiny ears of his. My point? He ain't dead, folks, but he's certainly a funny guy.

He's like a really squat tank, kind of adorable but fucking terrifying at the same time. I mean, this guy can beat the living daylights out of most of us, but seems to have such a lovely spirit that he's more likely to give you a big hug instead (hence the bizarreness around The Rock's opinion on the guy). That makes it even funny that people repeatedly seem to think that he's dead. I mean, why? I love the internet sometimes...

Before we get into the details, let's make one thing very clear: this dude is going to live forever, Joe Rogan ain't dead and will probably outlive all of us. He's a forking health nut, after all, and knows how to look after his body well. When the apocalypse inevitably happens, it will be Rogan who'll be repopulating the Earth (and what a magnificent species we'll be). Golly, gosh!

People Think Joe Rogan is Dead. He's Not.

On Wednesday morning, Joe Rogan was trending again. This time, it wasn't because he angered some closed-minded little Twitter warriors, but because people thought that he was dead. A fake tweet had announced the Podcast legend's passing and the world had lapped it up like ice-cream. The Tweet also had a false statement from Dana White. It was pretty hilarious if you ask us.

The entire UFC family is devastated to hear of Joe Rogan's passing. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family [and] loved ones, and we will make sure to continue his legacy. — Dana White

Meanwhile, Joe was busy Tweeting about being pregnant. You really can't make this s**t up. I mean, honestly, what a forking legend.

Here's a quick PSA, for all of y'all still unconvinced: the walking thumb, Joe Rogan, is not dead. His gorgeous and very masculine voice will be coming to your ears probably hundreds more times before his eventual demise occurs. This bald bugger is a legend in the Podcasting world, an hilarious comedian so short that he could crawl through pretty much any hole.

In other words, even if Austin was bombed within an inch of its life, Rogan would still be around, probably holding the rubble up with his bare hands, saving all of the children. Okay, I don't know what I am saying. He's not dead, you nuggets, stop being gullible little donuts. And if you are going to be donuts, AT LEAST MAKE SURE THAT THEY'RE CINNAMON!